So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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