There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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