Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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