I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
