I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
