i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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