he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think your dad took our porno
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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