I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
