If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
