Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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