He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
