Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
