I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
