My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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