i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
