Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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