everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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