Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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