Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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