Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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