I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
