I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
