The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
