someone threw a dead crab at me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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