bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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