Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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