Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
