The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
