dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
