I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
