Do you still have your period?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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