Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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