the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
