2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
