I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
