What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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