apparently the secret to your success is patron
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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