The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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