booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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