She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Please don't give away my fajitas
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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