y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize