I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
