I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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