Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
