I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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