Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I am naked and annoyed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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