There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
