Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
