I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
