Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
