I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
