you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
