Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need a burrito and a hug.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
