I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
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He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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