You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
