Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
