You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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