I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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