would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
