they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
