Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
