Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
